Quotes from the Movie Eight Legged Freaks

It's their diet. These have been growing in the pond for the last three days. (Mike: Crickets?) They're like, spider steroids.

Joshua

I'm going to make a fortune!

Joshua

Yeah, Habronattus orbus.

Joshua

Say hello to Consuela...

Joshua

I had to bribe every customs agent from San Diego to Tuscon. (Leads Mike over to orb weavers.) You see, the female species is three times as big as the male. (Consuela emerges.) The males try to compete for the females' attention by bringing them the best presents, you know, like rats, mice, (Looks at his parrot, smirking), the occasional parrot. Come.

Joshua

So she can liquefy her prey, wrapped alive...

Joshua

When you come back next week they'll be twice as big as they are today!

Joshua

Where'd you go, little fella?

Joshua

This is your problem, right here. I don't want to hear any more of your 'paranoid delusional nightmare.' Right you're grounded for a week, mister. And no TV!

Sherriff Parker

Something ate your cat? What do you think it was?

Sherriff Parker

He just needs a shave...

Sherriff Parker

Who said it was OK to talk to your mother like that?

Sherriff Parker

All the phone lines are down, Mike.

Sherriff Parker

Where have you been, Wade? All the phones are dead!

Sherriff Parker

Ten years, and you have not changed a bit.

Sherriff Parker